Hooligan Zoo

Two Zookeepers… many Hooligans… It's always feeding time at this zoo!

When you feel like God has let you down.

on November 9, 2011

Sometimes I look around me, at my house that oftentimes makes me so unhappy… it’s untidy, it’s cluttered, if I only had this or that or some of those, then, THEN I could be truly happy, I feel the discontent seeping into me.  Poisoning that which could be enjoyable.  Making me blind to that which is all around me.

The sunlight coming in the window.

The children fighting, then one of them, just one turning it around and making everyone laugh.

The colour.

The warmth.

I am a Christ Follower.  I believe that God has given us promises, promises to an eternal life with Him.  Where He will dry our tears.  Where we will rejoice always.  Where there is no reason to sorrow.

I believe that God is good, that he works all things for his good purposes.  I believe that He is incapable of anything ill.

I believe that the bible is His word.  His TRUTH.  His message to us.  That we can hold on tight to those promises, knowing, KNOWING that He is in control.

And then.

Then friends of ours, friends who have lost one baby already, they lose another.  God takes that baby home.  Leaving them, leaving them with empty aching arms.  This baby, there was so much hope.  He was surrounded by prayer.  This baby was prayed for by people who didn’t know him, who will never know him or the rest of the family on this earth.

And I’m angry.

I’m angry at God for allowing the infection that took this child, that took this family’s hope away from them.

I’m angry that the world is such a place.  A place where some have so much, and others have so little.

I’m angry that children suffer.

I’m angry that loving parents have empty arms, while others take for granted what has been freely given to them.

I’m angry that God just doesn’t wave his hand and make it all be done.  All be good.

And while I’m angry, what carries me through, is the knowing.  Even midst tragedy, even when the world is falling apart around me, I have to hold tight to the truth.

We, as Christ followers, are not immune to suffering.  In fact, we are promised that suffering will happen.  The difference is that we are carried through it.  We never have to suffer alone.  He will not leave us.  Even when we feel bereft, when we want answers when there are none, even when I am angry, I am still held in the gentle and loving arms of God.

His promises are real.  His promises are true.  He can be nothing else.

And He can handle my anger.

And loves me in spite of it.

Please pray for our friends who have lost their precious and much hoped for baby boy last night.  My prayer is that they can hold onto the promises, even as they mourn.



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