When you can't remember yourself…

Sometimes life is hard.

Some days it’s hard to remember that there is good out there.  That God is in control.  That ultimately?  He will, and is winning.

On those days it’s good to have friends.  Friends who can remind you, friends who say, “Hold on a minute, yes, you can be sad, but just remember…. remember this good thing?  And that good thing?  Oh, and you know what?  Just because you seem to have forgotten, it WILL work out.  HE is in control.  It may not be the way you want it to, but it will work out in the end.”

And then, then, when the tears can stop for a moment, and the friend prays over you, and you start to feel a little bit of that peace… then… then you can see that it will be okay.  It may not be great, in fact, it may not even end up the way that you want it to end up, but it will still be okay.

We have had a very hard few months.  There have been big things that happened.  The death of Ja’s brother, and all of the repercussions around that (a lot of which I’m not at liberty to talk about).  That is a really big thing, a person, a brother, a son, a father, that has been hard to grieve over.  There are so many unanswered questions that it’s easy to lose sight of He who is in control.  We have to constantly remind ourselves that we know where Kenny is.  We know that he is in the arms of one who loves him like no other.  And we have to be okay with that.

Then there are little things that happen all at once.  Our vacuum cleaner burnt out.  The dryer died.  Our van was hit by a bulldozer.  And the Lord provides for us.  He provides over and over again.  A practically new dryer, gifted.  A definite improvement on the old one.  A new vacuum cleaner, gifted, awaiting delivery from a person only known online.

Hope.  Hope lies in these small things.  If God can care so very much about these little things to provide, over and over again, to show Himself to me, to make Himself known exactly when I need to see Him the most, then, then how is it possible that He is not also right smack in the middle of those big things?

Even though I can’t see it right now.  Even though really, it’s the big things that matter, it’s friendship and family, it’s children and laughter and hope.  It’s peace.  It’s love.  If all of these things can be there… can be found, even after needing a reminder…  If God provides that one person who can offer you that reminder exactly when you need it…

Then how can I not know He is there.  He weeps with me, He laughs with me, He cares about me.  So much in the little things, how much more in the big ones?

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