Hooligan Zoo

Two Zookeepers… many Hooligans… It's always feeding time at this zoo!


on March 29, 2010

Ah Zi.  My wonderful and delightful first born.  As a baby you were so easy going…  slept well at night (albeit not during the day).  It seems like just yesterday I went into the hospital with what we thought were indigestion pains…  and now, now, I look at you, the young lady that you are, that you are becoming, and I am amazed, I am so thankful, and I am awed.

It’s so funny when I watch you, when you do things exactly the same way that I used to do them. Making your friends sweet little gifts that adults see as useless, gently intervening between fighting toddlers…

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This year has brought a new side of you. Where before you were happy to romp around with the boys for hours and hours, you do tire of them after a little while now. Curling up to read, get a break from their “foolishness”. Even tho you may have been the instigator in whatever maniacal opportunity that has presented itself at that moment.  Climbing trees, floating in the spring full sandbox in a rubbermaid…

Kid Extravaganza!

You are all girl, delicate frills, creative, bookworm, and yet, put you in the middle of a pile of mud, add some worms, and that is your element as well. I love your adaptability. I love how you walk to the beat of your own drummer, how you don’t care what others think of you. I love how you have no fear to tell someone, even your peers, when they are doing something that you think is wrong.

Skating in the backyard

I love your tenacity. How even when you’re frustrated, you still keep at it. Going and going until you figure it out.  You do this with sewing, with knitting, and tonight, on your birthday, you even learned to spin.

I love your freedom and your joy in the Lord.  How you will talk about His love with just about anyone.  I love your acceptance, your simple faith in what is good and what is right.

Learning to embroider

I tell people all the time that you are “that” child. That you learn things easily. That you LOVE to learn. That once you saw that there were “words everywhere!” We could not hold you back if we had tried.

You take that will to learn in everything you do.  I watch you listening to your instructor carefully…  you try it, you fall, you just as simply get back up again and try it again.  It doesn’t seem to matter how often the fall happens, how many bruises there are, your determination will get you through.

You are the epitome of big sister. You love your siblings, and yet you hate them at the same time. You want to play with them, want to be with them, but you can turn on a dime and despise them. Screeching at them to get out of your room, leave you alone…

It’s getting hard to read you these days.  Where once a tickle fight was just about always welcome, now it may throw you into a fit… sending you screaming to your room to slam the door.  It’s a delicate balance, this hovering on the edge of womanhood.  You are mostly child, but you have one foot, one toe over the line.

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“You know how it is, Mama.” You say, “You’re the oldest too.” And I do know. I know absolutely.

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Eight is going to be a hard age, I think. For both of us. You are ready for more responsibility. A wee bit more freedom. I am not ready for you to be more than my baby, my wee little girl… To me, you are still that sweet baby, all ready to curl up in my arms. God made you to grow away from me… and that is the hardest part of being a parent. Learning when to let go.  Trusting that He will guide you, that He will protect you when you are away from the protective circle of your Daddy’s and my arms.

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Learning when to let you turn the spindle on your own. Figuring out when to let you fall, only helping you up when you ask. Letting you make mistakes, and helping you figure out how to make those mistakes right.

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When all I really want to do is hold you tight and protect you from all the woes of the world. All of that while at the same time letting you be a child.

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I cannot wait to see what the world of eight is going to bring us!

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And I am so very very glad that eight is not too old for spinning.



2 responses to “Eight.

  1. Aileen says:

    Oh, Jam, so incredibly sweet! Being a parent is difficult in so many ways that we would never expect.

  2. […] Zi’s birthday happened to fall on knit night at the library here in town.  I hadn’t been to it before, but Rachel and I decided that it would be a cheap fun thing to do for her birthday. […]

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