Hooligan Zoo

Two Zookeepers… many Hooligans… It's always feeding time at this zoo!

The New Year, she's a comin'!

on December 30, 2005

And when the New Year comes, I tend to dwell on what's gone on in the
past year, and what's coming up in the next year.  Especially when
it comes to these…

((photo compliments of my mom…))


They have grown in leaps and bounds over the past year.  My
precious little daughter who has become a little girl in her own
right.  My sweet little son who has become a teeny bull dozer
version of his father.

I like to watch them sleep.  In fact, I often check on them two or
three times before I go to bed for the night.  Making sure they're
covered up, making sure their lovies are within arms reach… 
It's when they're asleep that I can still see the baby in them. 
The baby that used to need me for everything from food to cuddles to
clean bums. 

Oh, don't get me wrong, I know how much they still need me.  They
are only two and three…  but they're so independent now. 
Ephraim's indignant cry of “I can DO it, MOMMA,” often rings through
the house.  Keyzia is down to writing her own name, and she is
showing so much independance.  It's letting go a little at a time,
isn't it? 

So many decision loom in our future.  Decisions that we want to
make sure are the best for these little beings that God has entrusted
to us.  The most imminent, and the one that weighs the most
heavily on my heart is the school issue.  We would love to send
them to one of the two Christian schools here in town, but we simply do
not, and, without a miracle of some kind, will not have the money to do
that.  Pretty high on the list right now is homeschooling.

I have some pretty huge terror and some pretty horrible feelings about
relinquishing the care of my daughter, and eventually my son, to a
perfect stranger. 

I'm well aware of the fact that I went through public school with
little to no problems…  I'm well aware that the majority of the
population goes through public school with little to no problems. 
What feels wrong to me is the fact that Jason and I have been the
biggest influences in our children's lives for the past 3 1/2 years,
and now I'm supposed to give that up?  Count on someone else
raising my children?  Instilling the morales that I believe
in? 

I have days where I am completely for homeschooling.  Days where I
can see only the good side, fully the potential.  The ability to
teach my children at their own pace.  The opportunity to allow
them to focus on the things that they are interested in.  To be
able to fast track in some things, and yet go slowly on things that
needed the extra time.  That would be a luxury.

Of course, then there are the days when I only see the downside. 
The fact that I WOULD be one of the sole providers of education. 
That's a huge responsibility.  I worry if I'll have the patience,
the knowledge, the perseverance. 

Homeschooling does cost a certain amount of money as well.  Mind
you, that would be far far less than Christian school, but still a
factor as well.  Would I be able to do respite work still? 
Or would I be too tired?  All of these things are swirling around
in my already murky brain… 

One thing that I'm not worried about is the socialization aspect. 
There is a huge group of homeschoolers in Peterborough that I would be
able to take advantage of.  Not to mention play groups, swimming,
ballet.  All opportunities for the kids to get together and play
with other kids of all ages. 

As this New Year looms so does the need to make a decision over
school.  It also becomes a matter of faith.  You take all the
Christian kids out of the public schools, and where will the public
schools be?  Am I showing a lack of faith by not wanting to put my
kids in an environment that I have very little control over?

It's amazing how it all changes when you have kids.  Priorities,
hopes, dreams…  it all focuses on those little blessings that
have been entrusted to us by God.    This New Year will
bring a lot of new things for us.  It just remains to be seen what
all those new things are!

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