Hooligan Zoo

Two Zookeepers… many Hooligans… It's always feeding time at this zoo!

hat shopping and children who play dead

on October 22, 2004

well, it seems as if the colder weather is upon us.  time for bundling up and extra sweaters…  even hats some days. 

now, the problem with children is that they grow.  they seem to grow continually.  and since last year at this time, ephraim was only 2 or 3 months old, he has outgrown his hats from last year, forcing us to go hat shopping.

of course, the first place that i went was walmart.  ahhh walmart, you let me down.  i was not happy with the hat selection at walmart.  (but, quite frankly, our walmart sucks.)  thankfully, as luck would have it, there is a children's place in the mall and after a quick look at the puppies, we dashed in to see what hats they had.

i'm quite particular when i buy things for the kidlets.  especially new things.  i think i may just be too cheap….  but, they did have hats, and they should fit the kidlets next year too…  i wanted them to tie or attach under the chin in some way, because, as you will see, ephraim hates hats.

first we did keyzia.  she was easy, her coat is pink, so she wanted a pink hat.  easy.  there's even room for pigtails if we need it!  ephraim's coat is yellow, and they actually had yellow and blue hats.  great.  keep in mind here that keyzia is happily sitting in the back of the cart, with her new hat on her head, and ephraim is sitting in the front.  i pick out what i suspect will be his size, put it on his head and….


flop.  he completely flopped over backwards so that he was hanging into the back of the cart, with his arms sprawled back.  totally limp.  apparently there is some kind of poison in that particular hat that attacks one year olds and instantly kills them.

okay, no problem.  i took the hat off him and he sat right up, flirted with the sales girl, happy as can be.  put the next hat on him.



take the hat off and he's up and back to smiling and laughing.  these hats must only affect boys with some kind of a temporary paralysis of all the limbs causing them to go limp and be unable to move until said offender is removed from the head.

i did get him a hat.  and he has worn it.  without going limp…  most of the time. 

i think the only antidote to the hat disease may be the coming of spring.  is it too soon to start looking forward to that?



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